Portrait Stream of Consciousness 2006

I just sucked so much
helium that I think my brains turned dry
it's cracking into powder and
coating fish for fry
Smoothing down the creases and cracking at the seams
But I know too much to have known what it's like to dream
my words are just a scream
my eyes are just a beam
They reach out into darkness hoping to find something
that is what it seems

My hands are just claws
my tEEth always Gnaw
My heart is looking frantically
for something to clench in its jaws

dead ocean air

stream of consciousness for the dead

cavernous caves
of coreander copper
coalescing carefully
to coal filled decanters

Climbing a quill for all of time
trying to drip out the perfect line
quietly quivering, quickly shivering
laying still in the ink, while I think

You're not beautiful
You are two lines in the sand
An old, shaking hand
Precisionless piles of dust
Unnerved unevenness
And when it's hot outside your face melts into everything
And when it's dark outside, I can see every hard pocked line
That has ever refused to smile
But you got old anyways.

What it was

Before it was sexual frustration and tension, it was a need to play outside. To run around at night and throw yourself against the world and defy the oncoming dark before being called in. To feel the temperature change on the surface of your skin, to skin your knees, to make your muscles hurt.

Before it was a need to compulsively touch and lean in and breathe heavy, it was a drive to dig in the earth and wipe off rocks and tear up pieces of grass.

It Is Time to do More Things

The white of the waves
The glow of the dock
The passing of time
As woodticks talk
The melting of rock
In a hot sea
Burned by dog flesh
Torn by fleas.

You Told Me to Die, Now I Can't Think Straight.

I am giving it all that it's worth
To crack through the bones of a child's birth
And wondering how the fish manage to sleep at night
With all that moving 'round it just don't seem right
Now I'm reflecting on those things that you said to me
I guess they weren't that bad, but they truly bled me
I don't think there's anything I can do about it...

Now you will find me up against a wall
Now you will find me crawling down the hall
Now you will find me on the tile floor
Now you will find me at the beach, wondering...

How the fish manage to sleep at night?
With all that moving 'round it just don't seem right
I watch the waves loving the shore
And wish that I knew how to love more
Now you're trying to take me home
And I would rather be left alone.
You'll drag me back, and I'll comply
As you lovingly tell me that this time things will go right
But I just want to walk into the waves and see
How the fish manage to sleep at night
Turned upside down, or softly floating upright?
I want to be a heavy ball that doesn't bob for air
And not your girl with blue eyes and long hair

I'll never stop thinking, wondering
How the fish sleep down there
Then I wake up, gasping for air.